What the Tampa Bay Rays would bring to Thanksgiving dinner

By Lily Belcher

Randy Arozarena

Brought a frozen turkey to cook after renaming the kitchen “Turkey Land.” Did spend more time playing with the raw turkey than actually cooking it.

Brandon Lowe

Was asked to bring rolls because it is basic and uninteresting, but had potential to be the best dish if he splurged on a good brand. He didn’t. Madison Lowe did make three dozen freshly baked and decorated turkey shaped cookies to make up for it.

Tyler Glasnow

Brought exported alcohol from Mexico and has a story from one of his trips to go with each bottle. Did pull his oblique carrying all the alcohol and is expected to be on the IL again. Only stopped in to say hi because he’s not staying for dinner. 

Taylor Walls

Was invited last minute after Wander Franco couldn’t make it and someone needed to bring pumpkin pie. Accidentally grabbed sweet potato pie and brought sugar free whipped cream.

Josh Lowe

Brought burnt green bean casserole, which went untouched, and insisted on bringing his brother Nate. Was put in charge of clean up duty after dinner.

Isaac Paredes

As the homerun leader, he brough smashed potatoes with extra garnish on top. Did ask each guest for their opinion on if the potatoes are good. Everyone said they are the best they’ve had just to get him to stop asking.

Shane McClanahan

Brought two types of sweet potatoes, one with marshmallow on top and one without because the team couldn’t agree on which is better. McClanahan dropped off the dishes off and said he would be back in March 2025 to pick up the containers.

Dewayne Staats and Brian Anderson

Brought the most expensive and fancy homemade gravy. Staats did most of the work while BA taste tested all the ingredients.

Kevin Cash

Offered to host and served food on expensive china. The rest of the players brought food in paper and foil containers with plastic serving utensils.

Stu Sternberg

Definitely was not invited but someone (Cash) let it slip and he invited himself. He also insisted dinner be hosted in St. Pete despite objections from literally every other guest.

MLB advertised the Rays’ dinner would be the best in the league but cancelled it after the first course when the Texas Rangers showed up. Even after it was cancelled, Arozarena was standing his ground in the kitchen with his arms crossed.